Wyrley Meerkats U11 0 v Hednesford United U11 3

The week got off to a great start! A mere simple enquiry into kit costs resulted in the biggest insult known to man or beast. Well actually its probably the second biggest insult behind being labelled a United Fan.  This is the response I received from Jeffica Sutton (Designated Kit Manager)

Good morning Jody,

Finally I get to verbally joust with the Wyrley wordsmith herself!!

I have sent over the quote to veasy but could you verify what are “nad accessories”????

I await you response with breath bated!!!


Designated Kit Manager

Not only was I mortified about being labelled a ‘She’ but I had also made a typo in the subject box! Obviously I replied with a response so terse that Jeff was left with no illusion never to mess with me. For legal reasons I cannot publish my response to Jeffica but hasten to say it was strong! Jeff was obviously using his suave personality to chat me up – Thanks but no thanks!

Anyway, to top a bad week off we were facing a Hednesford side that were on the cusp of claiming the league title.  As they rocked up to the Long Lane site we could see that they had bought ALL of their star players, this was going to be a tough game! One of their girls emulated Ivan Drago (Rocky IV) – boy she was big! According to one Meerkat the Drago lookalike even said during the coin toss ‘I must break you’ in a Russian / Hednesford twang.  The Meerkats didn’t have the best preparation in the lead up to the game with 2 Meerkats turning up late and looking like they hadn’t slept – guess what, they hadn’t! Sleep overs are never as advertised are they! Why are they called Sleep overs when very little sleep is obtained, answers on a postcard.

The gaffer had 11 Meerkats to select from and he opted for a starting line up of Skye, Ellie, Millie, Mellisa, Erin, Eloise and Chloe.  The game kicked off and the shape and style of the play fast became apparent.  The Meerkats were going having to roll their sleeves up and dig deep to stay in this game. The game consisted of long throw ins and copious amounts of corners that were defended in the majority very well by the Meerkats.  The ‘in week’ training practice of meeting the ball seemed to have been understood by all. Previous games had witnessed great simulations of Kung Fu Panda moves which brings me nicely onto the first goal that was conceded.  Hednesford’s No 7 the one with the blond hair (as there were 2 No7’s) hit a speculative shot that for whatever reason was attempted to be cleared by Skye using a Cantona v Palace fan styley! If she had attempted to use her hands it would have been saved but the Kung Fu kick missed and the ball whistled into the back of the net – 0-1.  The Meerkats dusted themselves down and lifted their heads.  On a rare sortie in the Hednesford half Eloise ‘The Engine’ hit the ball on the half volley which resulted in a great save from the Hednesford keeper. Millie ‘Stonewall’ Sturch and Ellie ‘The Enforcer’ Parker were playing well together, marshalling the defence and thwarting the Hednesford attacks.  Whilst defending against the numerous corners the Meerkats opted for a new defensive technique – lean against the goalposts to make them sway, could Hednesford hit a moving target?

The game ebbed and flowed between the teams and just before half time one of the Hednesford defence lynch pins hit a ‘worldy’ from the half way line that went over the top of Skye and into the back of the net – 0-2 great goal for the neutral to watch but her technique was all wrong!!

Half time came and Faith replaced Melissa on the right with Chloe being given some guidance (rough up their defence at any opportunity). Fierce tackles were flying in and Erin ‘The General’ was making and tacking them.  Faith was running the wing well and was getting stuck into the tackling too.  Chloe ‘Terry’ Venables was running after every through ball, causing Merry Hell in the Hednesford defence.  A well hit strike from Chloe produced a good save from the visiting keeper. Throws in were now being defended by having a Meerkat stand on the line in front of the thrower and jumping in conjunction with the throw! Just like the good old days when Delap was at Stoke!!! Not much more to detail apart from a scrappy 3rd goal to seal off their deserved victory.  This victory handed the League title to Hednesford who have been the strongest team consistently this year – Congratulations to Hednsford from the Meerkats on a job well done!  They celebrated wildly on the Wyrley car park with a couple of bottles of ‘Crystal’, ‘Chateauneuf du pape’ and Um Bongo.

Good Points from the game

Meeting the ball ahead of the opponent

Heading the ball was fantastic


Things to work on

Parents / Players to turn up on time – To arrive at home games for 11:00am for a team warm up – KO 11:30am

Parents to ensure that their daughters laces are tied. The girls should be able to do this for themselves!

Not watching the ball! Players should always face the ball or at least be aware when the ball is coming to them.

Concentration of certain players was very poor – to be asking their parent during the match if they can have a McDonalds is not what I class as concentrating on the game.

Calling for the ball

Goalkeeping with the hands instead of the feet


For a commanding performance in the middle of the park the Manager Player was awarded to Erin ‘The General’ Waddilove.

The Parent Player Meerkat thingymajig awarded to Ellie ‘The Enforcer’ Parker for a sterling effort in the defensive line.




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